Beach-head (Joe trainer): What's that bow-wow doing here?
Law (new Joe recruit): That's my dog, Order. He's trained to sniff out
explosives. Order, seek!
Beach-head: This is supposed to be YOUR test, Law!
Law: Hey, Law and Order are a team, man. He find the bombs, I drive the car. We
tried it the other way, but it didn't work.
The year was 1987 and at this point, my friends & I were
hardcore Joe collector, but there was one thing about this line that continued
to bug me. As I mentioned in a previous
post, one cool thing about this line was that each character that they released
came with a rather detailed personalized filecard that gave us a good
background and feel for each character. So
each Joe had a combat designation like Ranger, Halo Jumper or Counter
Intelligence, a codename, like Stalker, Ripcord & Scarlett, and finally a
real (civilian) name like Lonzo Wilkinson, Wallace Weems or Shana O’Hara.
 |
| What the hell??? |
So why would all this bother me? Simply put, after 5 years
and over 40 unique Joes released…not a single one of them was named Chris!!!!
All my other friends had specific Joes that they could call their
namesakes…there was a David, Gabe & Javier (well now you know my friends)
but no Chris! And my friends being the NICE people that they were would always
rub it in and never make me forget that I had no Joe to call my own.
Anyway that all changed in 1987 when Hasbro came up with
Military Police codenamed Law & his dog Order (get it? police? law &
order? Pretty pretty witty Hasbro). I
remember it fondly like it was yesterday.
Javier called me up on the phone excitedly telling me the good news that
there was finally a Joe named Chris. I
excitedly went to Nova Fontana in Goldcrest (the number one toy store back
then) and found him hanging behind the counter.
Upon confirming that he was indeed named Chris, I eagerly forked over my
60 pesos and he was all mine!
 |
| FINALLY!!!! |
I didn’t really care that he sported a rather tacky uniform,
his white MP helmet, bright red shirt, bright blue vest and olive pants were
fantastic! A genius color combination
choice if I do say so myself, a far cry from the plain green uniforms from the
original Joe. But then again, by this time
almost all the newer Joes were sporting snazzy bright colors. The best part however was that my guy had
something my friends’ Joes didn’t have…a dog! EAT THAT Barbeque (Gabe),
Bazooka(David) & Shipwreck (Javier).
So there he was, Military Police, Law, real name Christopher Lavigne (I
guess he was Avril’s uncle), who apparently I found out later, when he made his
cartoon debut in the G.I.Joe movie that same year…sounded sorta like Cheech
Marin from Cheech & Chong fame…how cool is that?
feel free to skip to the 4:55 mark...
Anyway, when the new 25
th line was started years
later, a properly updated Law & Order were unfortunately left out. They did a new Barbecue, Bazooka and
Shipwreck, but no Law.
 |
| What the HELL?? |
When the Rise of
Cobra line came out in 2009, they gave us a cheap updated version that would
NOT fly in my books.
 |
| Definitely NOT gonna cut it! |
So I had to do something about it and decided to make my OWN
updated version. This was my very first
custom made G.I.Joe, and I thought I did a fairly decent job if I do say so
myself….but ultimately it was still….lacking.
 |
| If they won't make him...do it yourself! |
FINALLY though, in 2011, a new updated Law & Order
finally made their debut as part of the 30
th Anniversary/Renegades
toyline. And just like most of the Joes
released this time around, Hasbro pulled out all the stops.
 |
| YES!!!!! |
Gone was the tacky colored uniform, replaced
with a more realistic predominantly dark blue ensemble. He was also given a
whole slew of accessories…
 |
| Obligatory equipment shot.... |
And Order…came out looking well….adorable ha ha.
 |
| awwwwwwww.... |
A few years back, I learned that sometime in the 90’s, after
I was done collecting Joes for the time being….Hasbro released another Joe
named Chris….and as hard as it is to believe, he managed to sport an even
tackier uniform. Oh and they also ended up killing him off in the G.I.Joe
comics years later.
 |
Oh Christopher Groen aka Tracker...we hardly knew thee...
but LOVE the Lakers themed shoes! |
So that’s that. I’ll
stick to Law & Order as the only TRUE Chris in the Joe ranks…..Yo….Chris!
(oh btw in case you don’t know me, my name is Chris)
J
