Thursday, October 11, 2012

An Law-Full Entry

Beach-head (Joe trainer): What's that bow-wow doing here? 
Law (new Joe recruit): That's my dog, Order. He's trained to sniff out explosives. Order, seek! 
Beach-head: This is supposed to be YOUR test, Law! 
Law: Hey, Law and Order are a team, man. He find the bombs, I drive the car. We tried it the other way, but it didn't work.

The year was 1987 and at this point, my friends & I were hardcore Joe collector, but there was one thing about this line that continued to bug me.  As I mentioned in a previous post, one cool thing about this line was that each character that they released came with a rather detailed personalized filecard that gave us a good background and feel for each character.  So each Joe had a combat designation like Ranger, Halo Jumper or Counter Intelligence, a codename, like Stalker, Ripcord & Scarlett, and finally a real (civilian) name like Lonzo Wilkinson, Wallace Weems or Shana O’Hara.

What the hell???
So why would all this bother me? Simply put, after 5 years and over 40 unique Joes released…not a single one of them was named Chris!!!! All my other friends had specific Joes that they could call their namesakes…there was a David, Gabe & Javier (well now you know my friends) but no Chris! And my friends being the NICE people that they were would always rub it in and never make me forget that I had no Joe to call my own.

Anyway that all changed in 1987 when Hasbro came up with Military Police codenamed Law & his dog Order (get it? police? law & order? Pretty pretty witty Hasbro).  I remember it fondly like it was yesterday.  Javier called me up on the phone excitedly telling me the good news that there was finally a Joe named Chris.  I excitedly went to Nova Fontana in Goldcrest (the number one toy store back then) and found him hanging behind the counter.  Upon confirming that he was indeed named Chris, I eagerly forked over my 60 pesos and he was all mine!

I didn’t really care that he sported a rather tacky uniform, his white MP helmet, bright red shirt, bright blue vest and olive pants were fantastic!  A genius color combination choice if I do say so myself, a far cry from the plain green uniforms from the original Joe.  But then again, by this time almost all the newer Joes were sporting snazzy bright colors.  The best part however was that my guy had something my friends’ Joes didn’t have…a dog! EAT THAT Barbeque (Gabe), Bazooka(David) & Shipwreck (Javier).  So there he was, Military Police, Law, real name Christopher Lavigne (I guess he was Avril’s uncle), who apparently I found out later, when he made his cartoon debut in the G.I.Joe movie that same year…sounded sorta like Cheech Marin from Cheech & Chong fame…how cool is that?

feel free to skip to the 4:55 mark...

Anyway, when the new 25th line was started years later, a properly updated Law & Order were unfortunately left out.  They did a new Barbecue, Bazooka and Shipwreck, but no Law.

What the HELL??
When the Rise of Cobra line came out in 2009, they gave us a cheap updated version that would NOT fly in my books.

Definitely NOT gonna cut it!
So I had to do something about it and decided to make my OWN updated version.  This was my very first custom made G.I.Joe, and I thought I did a fairly decent job if I do say so myself….but ultimately it was still….lacking.

If they won't make it yourself!
FINALLY though, in 2011, a new updated Law & Order finally made their debut as part of the 30th Anniversary/Renegades toyline.  And just like most of the Joes released this time around, Hasbro pulled out all the stops.

Gone was the tacky colored uniform, replaced with a more realistic predominantly dark blue ensemble. He was also given a whole slew of accessories…

Obligatory equipment shot....
And Order…came out looking well….adorable ha ha.

A few years back, I learned that sometime in the 90’s, after I was done collecting Joes for the time being….Hasbro released another Joe named Chris….and as hard as it is to believe, he managed to sport an even tackier uniform. Oh and they also ended up killing him off in the G.I.Joe comics years later.

Oh Christopher Groen aka Tracker...we hardly knew thee...
but LOVE the Lakers themed shoes!
So that’s that.  I’ll stick to Law & Order as the only TRUE Chris in the Joe ranks…..Yo….Chris!

(oh btw in case you don’t know me, my name is Chris) J