Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Occupational Hazard

Meet Jim, from a land called “various countries”. Ever since he was a little boy, Jim yearned for a life of adventure. He knew deep down in his heart he was destined for great things. So when the Cobra special forces recruitment wagon passed through his town he didn’t think twice and signed up to join their ranks. And eventually, after a few missteps and false starts within the Cobra organization, Jim finally found his true calling, that of a Cobra Hazard Viper!

At the start, Jim’s recruitment officers didn’t know exactly where to place him. They knew he was too good to be wasted in the regular trooper ranks. So they did the next best thing. Stuff him into a “drill pod” and let him burrow into an active volcano. Why anyone would do such a thing is beyond me, but this was Jim’s life for the first few months in Cobra, he started out as a Volcano Viper.

It didn’ take long for Jim to realize that drilling into a volcano was just “not his thing”…plus, bulky protective suit or not, it was DAMN HOT in that pod. So pretty soon he put in a transfer request. Lucky for him, an opening came up in a brand new division of Cobra and that’s how he ended up as a Hazard Viper.

As it turns out, it doesn’t take much to switch from a Volcano Viper to a Hazard Viper. You basically get the same bulky suit, this time in a snazzier orange color, plus added gear like a fun liquid toxic sludge attack weapon! (that actually squirts out water!!)

So what exactly is a Hazard Viper? Remember Airtight from the previous entry? Well the Hazard Vipers are sort of Cobra’s counterpart. Their version of a crazy guy who doesn’t mind dealing with toxins and other dangerous chemical, biological & radioactive materials. In fact, Hazard Vipers have an even more special role within Cobra. Aside from making Airtight’s environment even more hostile, they are the keepers of the mysterious “compound Z”. So what exactly is compound Z? To be honest, I really couldn’t tell you, but anything that could turn this guy….

Into this….

CAN’T be all that good for ya (unless being a mindless undead zombie is your kinda thing). It’s a fortunate thing that Cobra has figured out a way to keep these zombies under their control. With MORE compound Z!

So yeah…there you have it. Jim, the Hazard Viper, keeper of the mysterious compound Z….and other nasty stuff, and the bane of Airtight's existence....